Letter to President Bush

Dear Mr. President,

Look, I know you’re busy not taking care of the folks in New Orleans, defending Donald “Rummy” Rumsfeld bad mismanagement of the war, but I have to say, I’m quite impressed with you wanting to invite those boys from the Iraqi Natinal youth soccer team to The White House.

Good on ya mate!

Boy, just think how good that’s going to look on your resume when you leave office in two years, or at this rate sooner but no negative thoughts now this is a time for joy!

I mean, never mind, that the man who sponsored the trip for these young war-torn traumatized lads is a big oil executive who has ulterior motives, that’s beside the point. The point is, that you’re making an effort to understand more about Arab culture, and that’s a good thing. If you don’t mind me quoting Mr. Albert Huddleston, the oil executive who made the trip possible:

“I think it’s important that we have the young of tomorrow in America and also in Iraq and other countries know each other.”

Too bad someone couldn’t have thought to get a Palestinian boys soccer team over to play in this world youth tournament. But you know what, that’s not your problem, because you’ve pretty much severed ties with the Palestinian Authority anyway and cut off aid to them as well.

You know on second thought, maybe it isn’t a wise idea to invite the Palestinian kids. I mean, they’d just, eventually blow something up, throw rocks at their opponents, or cause some other sort of mayhem. Don’t ya think?

Oh well, it’s not like the Palestinian kids would be missed, right? I mean most people figure they are busy making bomb-belts right now, or hurling deadly stones at gun-toting, brave Israeli soldiers, trying to defend their country, based on how the mainstream media reports these things.

Yeah, it’s better this way. You can only screw up one country and it’s people at a time. Right? That whole Afghanistan thing, no one is going to remember that over time anyway. And after the kids meet you and Laura, and your dog…Oh, by the way, maybe the dog shouldn’t be around when the kids meet you, if they were observant Muslims it would be inappropriate.

Now, where was I…Oh yes, after the kids meet you and Laura, there would be such an out flowing of love and joy that I’m sure they will look gleefully at going home to instability and strife, to gun wielding militias, Friday prayer suicide bombings, and a coalition force that has probably killed one or more of their family members, or at the least, detained a father, brother, sister or mother. But like I said, I’m not going to mention any of that. That’s just negative talk. And we all should be proud that you’re making such an effort to reach out. In fact, I’m heading back to Palestine in December for at least a couple of years. While I’m there if I hear any Palestinian children whine about lack of food, medicine, security, education, or freedom of movement, I’ll say: “Shut your pie hole! The man had some Iraqi kids over at the White House for Humus and pita, what more do ya want!”

Keep up the good work Sir.

Sincerely,
Chris Brown

P.S. This may not be the right time to ask, but do you think I could get my 40 acres and a mule. Former President Lincoln promised my family and other African American families this very thing. Look it up. But like I said, we can talk about that in another letter. Thank you, Sir.

Photo by: Nayef Hashlamoun